Being Selfish

Originally written in June of 2006.

Being Selfish with GOD 

Dear, Lord thank you for the…..
Pardon me. I have a something to ask you
What is the one thing you want?

I want the dream.
What Dream?

You know the one.
Of course I do, but you have to ask.

That’s too easy, there has to be more.
I know but that’s what the book says.
“Ask and ye shall receive.”

Will I get what I ask for?
You know you will.
Maybe that’s why you don’t …

Don’t what?
You don’t ask you never ask.

Of course I ask.
No you don’t. You never ask.
You dress up everything you say to me.
You hide behind simple prayers,
You pray for others, and try to protect them.
You never ask.

But I never want to ask I’m scared.
Everybody is scared when they ask.
Everybody worries about what will happen.
Do you even remember the sparrow, because I do.

I don’t think I can do it.
I never have been able to before.
It hurts more to live without asking.
So just ask.

You mean if I actually ask….
Yes. Yes. It will be more than you ever dreamed.

Can you help me believe?
You believe already.
Just say what you’re thinking.

I want to spend my time with you.
That’s not it. We do that already.

I want to spend more time with you.
Now you are just guessing.

I don’t know what to say.
Please, give me some help.
Now you’re getting warmer.

I’m confused what else could I ask you?
Just ask!
Stop pretending and say what that child inside of you….

Lord I can’t do all this alone.
Can you help me be more?
You see wasn’t that easy.
Now, let’s see what we can do together.