I am still in the making

Originally Written May 2006

I am more than the sum of my parts but still less than I could be.
I wonder what the next generation will be able to do better than mine.
I hear the whisper of long lost invention still struggling to keep bewilderment alive.
I see the gleaming greatness of possibility in everyone I meet.
I want to travel back to moments of discovery and search for the astonishment of innovation.
I am still in the making and anxious about it.

I pretend to battle ancient enemies of equality and beat back the lost victories of liberation.
I feel weighed down by my mislaid opportunities and possibilities.
I touch the face of my wife to remind me of what matters most in life.
I worry if I am still the prince that she always wanted.
I cry about the regrets that hold me down.
I am more afraid of my past than my future.

I understand that I can not change everything and that I am not always right (just misinformed).
I say that tomorrow is waiting for something better than today.
I dream about the day when I can shape the ideas of the nation.
I try to make everyone happy, even though I don’t always want to.
I hope my children’s lives will be more than my own.
I am scared that one day I could get what I always wanted, before I know how to handle it.